Modern Religious Experience: Reflection #4: Buddhist Meditation: "Spend 20 mintues in a silent meditation; a place you won't be disturbed, your own 'fig tree' as was Buddha's inspiration. In those 20 mintue..."
Meditating for 20 whole minutes was probably one of the hardest assignments I've received. Being a person that can't sit in one position for too long, I was already having trouble staying still in my cross-legged position after just a few minutes. Additionally, I was already exhausted from school so I was worried that I might accidentally doze off. First, I tried to focus on my breathing and make sure that it was going at a steady pace. I closed my eyes and tried to find peace amidst the crazy day I was having. Although I knew I was supposed to empty my mind and immerse myself in "right thoughts", "right mindfulness", and "right concentration", I couldn't stop thinking about the huge test I have tomorrow. "How am I going to cram a unit's worth of information tonight? How late am I going to stay up? I should go get some coffee." Irrelevant thoughts like these took over my brain and prevented me from trying to think about anything else or receive inspiration. Any inspiration in relation to meditation, that is. And quite frankly, it made me sad that I couldn't simply relax for a mere 20 minutes without thinking about everything in my life I'm worried or stressed about. The fact that Buddhists perform meditations every day awes me. Their ability to concentrate seems so hard to attain. But hopefully, I will be able to find a time in the future when I don't have such a load on my shoulders to just be able to relax and focus on my inner thoughts.
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